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| This is what I feel: A whirlwind of emotions, and at the centre of it all is a tiredness that makes me want to lie down and just sleep until everything is a bit more peaceful.
I try to pick apart the sadness, but it's like trying to untangle a ball of strings - the more you try, the more tangled up it becomes.
I realise now that somehow my words are always going to be my best friends, that there's always going to be a huge gaping chasm between me and everybody around me, that I think far too much, that I'm always going to be part of the background/ invisible, that stupid comments by even more stupid people will always haunt me. Somehow.
x
We all fall apart.
I'm just thankful that I've always got Him to piece me back together.
Your mercy saved me, mercy made me whole...
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| Senses heighten and go into overdrive
Everything is Nothing when you're around
All that I notice is your voice, your movements, you
Heart races, Blood rushes, millions of Thoughts flash by
My attention is a willing captive where you are concerned.
yet.
Inside I struggle daily to break free of the hold you have over me
Not giving up until I find the antidote to the poison that is you
Gradually growing, taking control
again.
Hoping for more, just a bit more, all the time
Anything goes - a smile, a glance, an acknowledgement
why? because
Nothing is all you've given me all these years
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| The ability to express a desire, a need, a feeling, a random passing observation, oneself - so basic and yet so precious.
I think I wouldn't be able to survive without my voice or my hands or my sense of sight and hearing.
I need to read, I need to talk, I need to write, I need to listen.
I need words.
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| I love my church.
It has become a part of me in so many ways, on so many levels, that it's simply impossible to imagine what my life would have become without it.
A meaningful life that has a direction and a purpose, a Family, great role models who actively play a part in molding me - this is what I have because of Pastors.
Though I wasn't there in the beginning building the church to what it is today, the love that has been instilled in me over the past 3 years is enough to make me feel proud of my church whenever the mere mention of its name is heard.
So today I take a stand, I make a commitment: in the years to come, I am going to be a support to my pastors and leaders, building this church alongside them.
What we have now is great, but what we'll have in the future is going to be amazing.
Holy dissatisfaction: we won't remain where we are, but we'll always keep on growing!
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| This has really got to stop, before I go crazy.
Can't believe it's now my turn to get so messed up over something as small as this.
Sigh, so many words ringing in my head right now, so many things to be done as well.
Life really is never smooth sailing.............. just gotta have faith then.
Faith. Sometimes I wish there was like some sort of tablet to eat to increase in faith haha..... like vitamins yknow?
I sincerely h8 how I'm always limited by such small things. Shows just how 'small' I am too, eh?
Grow waiiiiiz, grow
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